(Not at all related to Marvel's Heroes for Hire plz dnt sue me)
We came here to fuck mothers and kick asses. And it looks like your mom's not home.
The Parcel of Rogues is meant to be a group with a wide range of backgrounds and skills, with three common denominators:
- We worship the Almighty Bottom Line.
- We are good at what we do.
- We seek entry to Valhalla to sit with honour at the table of our ancestors.
A veteran returning home to find out that those job prospects were lies?
A cop with one too many brutality charges?
A private detective who can't stand by and just listen to the shit as it hits the fan?
An arms dealer who likes knowing what his wares can do?
A drug lord who wants more than just generic muscle to back him up?
Whatever your battlefield, whatever your history, wherever and whoever you served, you're welcome to join us. We ask but one thing - do not ask of your brother Rogues what you would not do for them.
Now we're not into all that cumbaya, Sisterhood of the Fried Green Tomato Pants at the Whistle Stop Café bollocks, but a central tenet of the organisation is respect to all members. Nobody kicks up to a boss, nobody pays tribute to a captain, but we all pay it forward; have a fellow Rogue's back and we'll all have yours if (when?) the turd hits the windmill.
So what do we do?
Anything and everything. As I said up above, we'll ideally have a broad skillset. If somebody absolutely, positively cannot live to see tomorrow - we'll be there to shoot him or her in his or her face when he or she gets home from work (shooting the dog is extra - that shit can get messy). If you need a group of people to process your drugs, write us some instructions and we'll cook your meth for you, cut your cocaine and heroin, or help grow your weed. You need protection for one of your businesses? God help any teenagers spray painting your strip club if we're at the door.
No job is too small, and no job is too big (except maybe assassinating a Head of State in the developed world). If it pays, you can come to us. We'll work with any of the other user groups in the area and maybe after a little while, we'll work with those beyond the confines of the Southwest.
Where are we based?
Los Angeles, especially the Valley. It's easy to get lost in that jungle of concrete slabs and glass cages - consider us your urban wood elf buddies. With less showing up in movies when we weren't in the book.
As we acquire cash and modes of transport we will branch out to other locations.
Who can join?
Everyone is welcome, from the lowest drug corner lookout to the mightiest operator.
This all sounds crazy. But I'm bad at making good decisions. How do I join?
Sign up below or PM me and we can work something out.
Frankie Van Den Bergh
One time a man wanted to duel me, so I put a 30 lb nail bomb under his car. He said to choose my weapon and I chose surprise!